Life isn’t all plain sailing but focus on the light, however distant it may seem.

Life’s journey isn’t always easy, and at times it can seem like a constant struggle.
But it’s important not to allow obstacles and challenges en route, no matter how large, to defeat you.

I know it won’t always be plain sailing but, after what has been a difficult and emotional year for me personally, I’m more determined than ever not to be a prisoner of my past and, instead, to make the rest of my own personal journey the best it can be.

I have many faults, as we all do, and am far from perfect, but I am who I am and I live my life by a set of morals and principles, which will never change.

I’ve been a loyal, honest and faithful man all my life, am both passionate and compassionate, and have empathy for others.

Sure, I don’t suffer fools, am sometimes impatient and have been known to worry far too much about things I never needed to worry about.

Furthermore, sometimes, I may seem quiet and withdrawn, which confuses people who only see the sociable, outgoing, positive side of me, but we all have bad days and those closest to me already know that there may well be another more significant reason for my apparent change in character.

You see, I have battled an illness for a long time. It comes and goes without warning (although it can sometimes be triggered by life events), and it varies in terms of its severity and longevity.

Sometimes it can be treated relatively easily whereas on other occasions it can be completely debilitating and just getting through each day can be a struggle. On one occasion, several years ago, it nearly finished me off for good.

The name of the illness………depression.

I’m not embarrassed to talk about my battle with this dreadful condition, and I hope that by bringing my own experience out into the open, it will help raise awareness, reduce the stigma attached to it and give other sufferers strength and support.

The more people talk about it, the greater the understanding.

I aim to do this, among other things, through this blog and the new website I will be launching shortly, www.pauldbull.com .

As well as depression, it will look at other topics and issues, and it will also include snippets from my new book, ‘Both Sides of the Story’, which has been on the backburner for quite some time (several years, to be precise). I have once again picked up the reigns and have vowed to finally publish it in 2017, but more on that another time.

I hope by reading this you will understand why I haven’t been on social media much in recent times, and I apologise if I have been slow in responding to any messages.

Depression paid me a visit once again last year (along with its old friend anxiety), but it is fighting a losing battle because I will never let it beat me.

It’s been an emotional  14 months for other reasons too. However, through it all, I remain an optimist and for all the negatives, there have been one or two extremely positive elements during that time too.

An important lesson I have learned through all this is not to be too hard on yourself and, instead, focus on the good things, good people and accomplishments in your life.

I feel blessed to have wonderful family and friends, and I would like to thank them all for their love, compassion and patience.

Whether people like me or not, I know that I always act with the best of intentions, respect others, am friendly and approachable, and can look at myself in the mirror each day knowing that I am doing my best, and that’s something from which I take a lot of strength, pride and positive energy.

Bring on the future.

Here’s wishing you all every happiness and success for the future.

Very best wishes,

Paul.

POEM: Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.