It’s fair to say that my life has been somewhat unconventional.
In fact, there are times when, although conducted with the best of intentions, some of my actions may have even seemed a little “crazy” or hard to comprehend.
That’s not to say my existence on this planet has been out of control and without responsibility, but my life’s journey hasn’t always been a stereotypical one set out for someone living in a traditional western society.
The standard models tend to portray people working fixed hours during the day, buying a house, settling down, marrying and starting a family. They then pursue a career where they can move up the ladder with a series of promotions in their chosen field and work until their mid-60s when they finally retire with a state and/or private pension.
For many, the stability and routine offered by such a lifestyle is appealing and can prove to be extremely rewarding.
To be honest, when I was young, it seemed like a route I too would probably take, and when I began my career in journalism in my hometown at the tender age of 18 (very young for someone entering the industry even then), there appeared to be a clear path laid out ahead of me.
Jump forward nearly three decades, however, and it seems incomprehensible that, given my situation back then, I would arrive at my current destination via the most incredible and unconventional journey; and one which has taken a very different direction to the one originally mapped out.
Evidently, a large part of that has been due to my personality and character and the resulting decisions I have taken; I’ve always had strong beliefs and principles; have never been afraid to take risks; have made several life-changing and impulsive choices influenced by my dreams and emotions, which have had both positive and negative consequences; and have hardly been what you could describe as conformist when it comes to certain areas of life.
Another element, of course, has been down to the lengthy battle I have fought against periodic depression, which has inevitably affected my life in different ways and to varying degrees.
Taking all that into consideration, however, I also realise that my passion for creativity and a desire to express myself has led me into projects, work, and situations which have required a different approach to what would generally be considered “the norm”.
For the main part, I have been fortunate enough to have had an exhilarating and fulfilling life so far, with some incredible highs. However, on the down side, there have also been some truly debilitating lows.
Overall though, when I reflect on my journey up until now, I do so with a matter of pride and feel grateful for the lessons that both the positives and negatives have taught me.
Furthermore, those lessons have helped me get to know myself and, whilst I remain extremely open-minded, still enjoy more than a spot of adrenalin, and am still not averse to taking risks, I am much more at peace with myself, calmer in general, more settled and, I like to think, a whole lot wiser as a result.
I am also more comfortable with how I have expressed and continue to express myself, as well as they way in which I embrace my creativity. After all, a little “craziness” (as it may be perceived) isn’t a bad thing every now and then, is it?
You see doing things differently can certainly reap its rewards.
It’s not necessarily a conscientious decision to behave in such a way, but for some people, like myself, adopting a different approach can help you challenge and discover things about yourself and venture into areas of life that wouldn’t be possible if you followed a more conventional, well-trodden path.
This type of attitude has led me into certain experiences in both my work and private life that, in hindsight, surprise me to this day.
As a journalist and investigator, I have placed myself in situations in pursuit of stories and results, which, in the cold light of day, you wouldn’t usually consider in an everyday civilian capacity:
I’ve conducted investigations and interviews in crack dens, brothels, and other less than savoury locations; found myself on the trail of dangerous criminals; taken on allegedly corrupt politicians and members of a self-serving secret society, who then failed in their attempts to try to silence me; been chased by a feared crime family’s ferocious fighting dogs; been abandoned and left to fend for myself in the middle of a huge illegal traveller/gypsy encampment, where certain violent individuals were searching for me with serious malintent; faced the paranormal whilst investigating a Black Magic sect; and gone undercover many times to unearth evidence and information, to name but a small handful of examples.
As for my overall journalistic career path: well, I have never been one to be tied to a desk, so I took a decision earlier in my career to remain a roving reporter and news gatherer instead of working in more office-bound editorial roles; thus turning down perceived promotions in the process, and much to the surprise of some.
My private life has been no less eventful too:
I’ve taken risks and given up what would be considered stable jobs or lifestyles to move to another country and pursue my dreams and/or a new beginning; have left the relative security of full-time contractual work to go self-employed; have had the pleasure and privilege of performing at or hosting a wide range of events; have instigated or been invited to contribute to or collaborate on many exciting, creative projects; have unwittingly witnessed and experienced the occult and associated supernatural elements, which I doubt I will ever be able to fully explain; and have been outspoken and campaigned fervently for what I believe in; controversially at times and particularly in relation to perceived injustice, using my writing as a vehicle to convey my thoughts.
In the latter case, I am now doing the same to try to raise awareness about issues such as depression by being open about my own experiences in a bid to, in my own small way, offer support and motivation to others. Indeed, this was the main inspiration behind starting this very blog.
Writing for me is a passion, and as well as providing me with a living for many years, it has presented me with an opportunity to use my creativity and express myself, which, in my opinion, is an essential part of any individual’s personal development.
You see, if you keep positive creativity trapped inside and suppress freedom of expression, not only is it a waste, but it can lead to frustration as well as missed opportunities, and I’ve always been someone with the mentality that I never want to look back on my life and think “what if……?”.
So far, and with this approach, I’ve been fortunate to have had a full and extremely rewarding life, although I have also made many mistakes along the way and it certainly hasn’t been all plain sailing.
Indeed, during one particularly dramatic episode nine years ago, after which I first made the decision to move abroad, my life nearly came to an abrupt end.
That particular story is covered in more detail in my forthcoming book, Both Sides of the Story, and the lessons learned from that chapter had a truly profound impact.
However, making mistakes is part of life’s learning process too, and the knowledge and wisdom gained from them should be used to strengthen us and guide our future decisions.
In terms of the latter, I have, on occasions, made repetitive and similar errors of judgement and ignored obvious warning signs, but time has made me more adept at spotting potential pitfalls and, as a result, I now have a tendency to make better decisions.
Indeed, the last two years have themselves been challenging ones for a variety of reasons, but I have faced each of the obstacles head on, overcome them, and during the last few months alone, I have begun to feel an even greater sense of self-awareness, stability, and peace, whilst retaining the passion I have always had for life.
With it has also come a renewed desire to tap into my creativity and express myself, so I have been wholeheartedly throwing myself into my writing and teaching work, including my book, which itself will contain what I am sure will prove to be some controversial chapters.
Whilst it has been somewhat unconventional, I consider myself extremely fortunate to have packed so much into my life already.
That said, and on reflection, I have asked myself various times if there is anything I have missed out on or regret.
Of course, there are some long-held desires and aspirations I have yet to realise; personally, domestically and professionally. However, experience has taught me that life can change in the blink of an eye and some or all of them may still happen. Who knows what the future holds?
One thing is for sure, my life certainly hasn’t been boring and, based on comments I have received from some, including my nearest and dearest, it may have even seemed a little “crazy” at times.
However, for my own part, the lessons I have learnt throughout my life have helped shape the person I am today, and if a little “craziness” is what is needed to help bring out, fuel or enhance my creative side and enable me to live life to the full, then I will continue to embrace it with open arms.
I would also encourage others of a similar disposition to do the same.
Be comfortable with who you are, always set yourself goals to aim for and never be afraid to “think outside the box”.
As I said in one of my earlier social media quotes:
“Creative spirits are often misunderstood, yet their contribution should be embraced and never underestimated.
“No matter how ‘crazy’ people may think you are, never let anyone kill your imagination or extinguish your passion, talents and dreams.”
Website: http://pauldbull.com/
